• In my essay writing process, I want to keep writing and receiving feedback in a loop.

    • I want to generalize and improve the advice I receive during this process.
  • Lack of episodes

    • Episodes can maximize specificity and make causal relationships more understandable by telling them in chronological order.
    • Therefore, they should be used.
    • (This is probably what is referred to as “Show, Not Tell”.)
  • Too abstract

    • This is ultimately what I have been told since my Japanese application essay.
    • It’s not just about giving examples.
      • Currently, the examples are also abstract and lack specificity.
  • Descriptive scenes

  • Detailed expressions

    • I want to understand the points that are being corrected by people like (yutarotanaka601) and be able to correct them myself.
    • It seems that “X of Y” is often changed to “Yish X” to make the words more concise and easier to read, and to reduce word count.
    • Improving simple word deficiencies
      • For example, the English translation of “未踏の領域” (unexplored territory) could be “uncharted territory”.
        • I think I can only ask for help with this (blu3mo).
    • Nuances of specific words
      • “Becoming excited” can show a change in emotion more than “getting excited”.
        • I also feel like I can only ask for help with this (blu3mo).

Essay