Considering Life Spring 2023

Life Evaluation Series §

Evaluation of Life 20220401

• Reflecting on the following considerations in 3 lines:
  • Had some resistance returning to the daily university routine after the freedom of spring break.
  • But perhaps it was just a case of the grass looking greener on the other side.
  • Nevertheless, reflecting on life in this macro way periodically is important.

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• Thoughts

  • Currently living a life where I am pursuing assignments at university while using any leftover free time to engage in experiences or projects I want to progress.
  • However, recently, feelings of uncertainty and doubt have started to arise about whether this is the right path.

• Why did I start feeling this way?

  • It’s not that I’m not enjoying myself.
    • Classes are generally interesting, and I can do various things in my free time.
  • However, I find myself encountering difficulties and stress, looking for hope in “alternate life paths.”
    • It feels like I am simply engaging in the phenomenon of “the grass is always greener on the other side.”
  • Has my previous contentment with my way of living started to crumble due to external factors?
    • I have built a certain level of acceptance towards choosing my current life over “alternate life paths.”
      • Answers to questions like “Why go to a university in the United States” have been part of this acceptance.
    • However, watching GPT-4 and similar content has started to challenge the foundation of this acceptance.
  • It seems that other ways of living have become more visible.
    • In the context of decision-making frameworks.
  • Is the dissatisfaction stemming from the limited free time at university?
    • This might be the case.
    • This will be further discussed below.

• What should I consider?

  • What am I currently struggling with in my current way of living?
  • Other ways of living
    • Their merits, concepts like antifragility.

• Current Way of Living

  • The idea that traditional university education is the optimal use of time in life is quite dubious.
    • While there are secondary benefits like meeting people, living in NY, or conducting research,
    • I find myself questioning why I am taking SWE Prep classes when Computer Science itself is so meaningful and enjoyable.
      • Assuming that SWE might not exist in 10 years or will undergo significant changes.
  • Difficulty in finding interesting individuals here.
    • But I feel like this is more about me needing to put more effort, especially at Columbia/NYC.
      • As discussed in “Looking Back on 2022 and Living in 2023.”
      • It’s also worth noting that living in a world with the internet allows me to easily connect with people from Japan.
        • The distance between Gunma-Tokyo and NYC-Tokyo probably doesn’t differ much.
        • I should be more proactive in this regard.
  • Simply missing Japan.
    • Well, that’s just how it is.
  • Is this the first time experiencing such a consistently limited amount of free time?
    • That’s not true.
    • In high school, I was basically at school from 8 am to 6 pm.

• Other Ways of Living

  • Taking a leave of absence.

    • Is dedicating time to traditional university education the best use of time during this period? It seems questionable.

    • When that becomes the case, it might be beneficial to take a break in 2023-24 to have the freedom to explore any direction in life.

    • Feeling restricted by the one-year limit.
  • Working at a company?
    • Details in [How to Proceed with ParallelTalk 202301].
  • Job?
    • Hmm.
  • Research?
    • Perhaps putting in a lot of effort in a lab for a year-long internship could lead to finding a position.
    • Referencing the Decision-Making Ignoring Frameworks.